Dave's Grizzly

Seeking investors for my new product line, Dave’s Grizzly products, including:

Pop-Up Nine-Foot Grizzly. Includes back-to-”school” backpack and two re-packs from head office in Malaysia. Also works on dogs and people who are strident about leashes.

Bullhorn with pre-programmed message in growly grizzly language. Pairs well with Pop-Up Nine-Foot (see above. Way above.) Message when translated back into human says: If I have seen further than other grizzlies, it is because I have stood on the shoulders of midgets Dave. This is a great way to get the feeling of standing on someone’s shoulders, but without the restraining order.

Quality Pop-Out umbrella with life-size smiling grizzly face. Opens with startling speed. Not just for use in the grocery store. Can also be used for bears or dogs or karens. Or rain. A wide variety of applications. Order now and we’ll send you a free mug in real china featuring a housecat beating up a brown bear.

Blue Umbrella. Nylon. Guaranteed to thwart directed energy waves or your money back (in spades). Made in ancient China (prior to 2020). Collector’s item. Tiny grizzly imprint can be seen from Elon Musk’s “satellites.” [if any]

See also our wide range of novelty Maiden China items, including a realistic fourteen-inch Wall of China with old-fashioned chinks for letting light in. Tiny moveable Chinese figures on one side of the wall are seeking to escape. Endless fun for the young and the young at heart. Chinks come in Shakespeare or regular. Already in stock are our bumper stickers showing a polar bear or a white van and the inscription Beware of White Men, which is a loose translation from the Chinese.

Serious investors only, please. These products are practical and will be priced to move, especially if batteries are included.

—Dave is a product developer who lives in the northern (“British”) part of Columbia.

Photo shows grizzly country yesterday, here in northern Columbia. To be honest the main reason I wrote this is just to have an excuse to show you my photo.