tax

Blurry hanging map depicts my current understanding of Ontario politics and tax base, whatever that is, while providing a subtle counterpoint to other Substack articles that use hyper-perfect stock photos like it’s romper room.

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Warning: I used to have half a million readers. Under pseudonyms, so you’ll have to take my word for it. Now on a good day I have five. Half a million readers down to five? This article is an example of why.

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What is most important in our shared life? (what you lot call “politics”)

If point one or two is don’t render unto Caesar, point two or one is there’s no Caesar. Never was, never could be. You just made him up. Actually, you’re the master, not “Caesar” nor the latest presider nor prime minimum. Hoping to get out of your responsibility by pretending you’re not the master? Nice try.

There’s nothing wrong with democracy. It’s not ill. It’s a slaver’s idea of freedom and it’s doing just fine. It’s designed to move power away from you and away from your watershed. You designed it so you should know. It hasn’t fallen away from purity, or gotten worse. It’s a game humans play to pretend they’re not in power, and its end product is to burn off the surface of the planet. Democracy is doing fine. It’s you that you might want to worry about. Keep participating and you’ll kill not just yourself but your progeny.

What about taxes? Attention and taxes are the fuel that keep democracy and all forms of leaderville going.

Caesar’s your God, and yet he doesn’t exist. Hmm.

Dave says: render as close to zero tribute to a zero god as you can get away with.

Christians who believe in paying taxes promptly are quite literally [Dave takes one last look at his subscriber count]…are quite literally blasphemous, because Caesar was God to the Romans. Paying your American taxes eagerly? What’s next, Baal worship and child sacrifice? The draft will be next if you keep it up. Baal was always a bit drafty.

Sure, hippie nerd man, fine sentiments, but here’s the tax lady, so what are we supposed to do?

Jesus showed the way: pay tribute as slowly as you can get away with, without actually going to jail. Wait until someone brings it up, notices you’re late. And pay tribute as funny as you can get away with. As funnily as possible. Humor, not resistance, is the essential affront to fascism, which cannot grasp the essence of it. The fuhrer’s gesture is limp wristed?

Where is zee humor in such an observation? [full transcript]

And no, der fuhrer’s gesture is not showing how high you should jump. Nor how big is his…excuse me?

Fascism is basically people agreeing too easily to the idea of paying taxes. That and not joking. Know any funny fascists? A real hoot, those guys.

Basic history of fascism: Italians literally invented fascism (fasces).

Transcript: The brown-nosing little functionary who carried the fasces was called a lictor. Lictor.

Lictor. Tells you everything you need to know. To the lictor go the spoils.

Romans, am I right? You see the skirts and you know they’ve got the wine and cheese in back there somewhere. And those fascists with their “Pax Romana” and Romano cheese are the invaders of antiquity who most resemble the Pentagon-Darpa standing-army complex, the Pax Americana. The only difference between them and us is they didn’t compromise their olive oil with seed oils. Also, their men wore skirts. Hmm, actually, there is no difference between them and us.

Jesus’s idea was: pay taxes funny.

As people would always say about the carpenter’s son and his sense of humor: there’s something funny about that guy.

So, taxes.

Scripture portions in that feature-length film were from Dave’s Inspired Translation (This Bible comes with two testaments, the big practice one for Jews and the smaller Christian one.)

Zip ahead a few centuries and some scribe who was chafing at his tonsure in like the year 743 deleted all the Jesus-joked verses from the Bible but we know they were in there somewhere. Until we find the Even Deader Sea Scrolls, my job is to put them back.

Yup, rougher than Dunnville on a Friday night.

The essential correlation for saving the planet is right there at the essential Jesus-joked comedy scene: if you pay tribute [American “tax”] too easily, you are responsible, quite literally, for a standing army. All tax is primarily to build a standing army. That other tax nonsense you lot gripe about is just the cover. [I have a dozen standing jokes, and I say them often enough that they’re running jokes, but they’re not indexed so you’ll have to actually read my last three-hundred Substack articles to find them.] But just because I’m joking doesn’t mean I’m not serious. You tax easy-payers are basically pyros trying to burn off the planetary surface, like it’s Brownsville. Compared to you lot, the rich who don’t pay taxes are actually less evil.

Dave says: Tax is for standing armies. Standing armies are always the enemy of the people. No exceptions. Standing armies, enthusiastically supported by regular people, are, at the physical level, the great scourge upon the planet. Well, that and buying shiny products. Either way, the problem is always regular people, no joke.

Paying tax promptly = hitting yourself and your neighbors with a whip. The technical name for this is self-flagellation. My dad, a big Puritan, built one for himself. True story.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, you lot.

Once one has attained the wisdom to see that there’s no emperor (naked or not), one can now understand why there is no shadow emperor. Although I gotta say that a shadow behind the throne with no throne to make a shadow has comic potential. Also have you seen that guy who opens the limousine doors for the Bilderberg group (a splinter group of the illuminati)? He’s just one guy opening doors for a long line of limos. Why aren’t there twenty or fifty others? And he wears a top hat. Is he even supposed to be there? Pretty sure he’s a covert comedian but I don’t want to blow him. His cover I must mean. He’s workin, if you know what I mean. He thinks he’s a shadow behind the shadow but I can see him. If you’ve never seen the guy with the top hat what’s that say about you?

So let’s put this into a famous future proverb:

To pretend there’s any master that is not the self is to abdicate.

Me liking naked lady emperors is literally not sexist because there are literally not emperors.

Fact is, there are no emperors who are not me. [old dude checks the mirror] The I Am, I mean. Plus lighten up about the lady emperor: I only wanted to be friends, not leave my toothbrush at her castle. I swear honey, I don’t even know her name. She means nothing to me.

Complaining about Trump or Biden? You just abdicated. You gave yourself away (in both senses).

If you want to whine to the master about how someone should do something about Palestine, go tell the master in the mirror. Pay any taxes lately? Pay attention to democracy lately? Pretend nations exist lately? If you’re not blah blah you’re part of the problem. [note spilled solution on counter]

A great many spiritual movements are arising or re-arising now in the hour of our [moderately increased] need, many of them ancient and fairly powerful. Many of them understand the essence of our existence, which is the I Am or Christ awareness or whatever the frick you want to call the miracle of our being aware, being conscious. Add words from Sanskrit, Druid, Belgian, or _______________[your ancient tradition here] as necessary. Some of these movements can even perform genuine miracles of healing and manifestation. Even I matrixed out bigtime and conjured a thirty-thousand-dollar object ex nihilo a year ago January. Hey, don’t judge me—manifesting in the Abraham Hicks mode seemed like a good idea at the time. I wasn’t even trying for an object. Just cash. Should have specified U.S. funds instead of Canadian. Well, the object sits objectively in mild rebuke out there in the driveway right now.

Not exactly what I had in mind, but I’m not going to look gift horsepower in the teeth. I wouldn’t touch that thing with a ten-foot pole but my wife can use it for phone calls and I asked what the wheels are for and apparently it has a transporter function so you can A-to-B like the old automobiles. One day it’ll drive itself home to China and that will be that.

I got a great camshaft-crankshaft timing-teeth joke for that looking a gift horsepower in the teeth reference, but I haven’t thought of it yet because like messiahship, comedy is all about timing.

Fun time to be alive. Lots of powerful movements out there…moving, which is what movements do. Yet there prolly cannot be any mass movement to knock the species back into wisdom if it continues to play the democracy game, which is the currently popular version of leaderville. Democracy = species annihilation. You’re only pretending to not know that. People meditate fully with the I Am using their own wisdom and just pointers from Mooji or they get healed, no, heal themselves with Joe Dispenza, and then when they’re done doing that amazing stuff they go back to…having opinions about ‘leaders’. Seriously? You can take the vomit out of the dog but you can’t take the dog…well, you can see where all this is leading.

Leaderville is the game of pretending there is a master that is not the self. Good luck with that. You appoint the leader and then pretend The Appointer has less power than the leader. That’s your little democracy game. Easy to get a thousand followers on Substack that way, isn’t it? You appoint Trump or Biden or _________[latest] to be your scapegoat then complain because they’re your scapegoat. They disappointed me! Even Napoleon

…even Napoleon had an excellent inspiration when he grabbed the crown from The Appointer and crowned himself. Unless that was somebody else. Not gonna look it up. Could have been me. My childhood is so far back now that it kind of blends into history.

Jesus, what a species. Humans are like girls in high school used to be: nice to look at. If there’s more, it’s a mystery. In my experience girls in high school were almost human, too.

Have you noticed how the planet doesn’t particularly need humans? Most of the higher species like worms and germs probably don’t even know we’re here. We were fun while we lasted, I’m sure, like high school or like a Hollywood explosion behind actors walking towards the camera, but were we here long enough to make an impression bigger than a regular forest fire? It’s possible that even the planet won’t have noticed we were here, like when you’re really concentrating on something you don’t notice if you’ve farted. Save the planet my ass.

—DDT writes from Niagara on Earth

Humanos? Your Tex dolores at work, as I hope the Mexicans in Brownsville say.